You walked out on me
I never thought the day would come where you walked out on me. I didn’t close the door behind you, and I didn’t lock it. I just left it open, in case you wanted to come back.
No— hoping, praying, that you would.
But now I’m wishing I could turn back time because you walk in and out whenever you please, and to be honest, it’s killing me.
I wasn’t ready for you to go when you did, so I was always hoping you’d come back to me, but not like this. Continues on the next pages…
You have a sixth sense
Every time you leave and break my heart again, I try to pick up the pieces and get over you.
But it’s like you have a sixth sense that tells you when I’m moving on, because just when I think I’m free of your hold on me, you show up and I fall for you all over again.
Out of nowhere, you have the ability to completely disrupt all normalcy in my life and create a tornado of emotions and feelings.
I am always there
No matter how many times you’ve sent my life into complete chaos, I am always there. I’m always left there picking up the pieces. I am always there being kind, supportive and loving. And in the end, I’m always the one left hurt.
You’re a habit I can’t break. When you’re gone from my life for long enough I can temporarily convince myself that I’ve let go. I can almost believe that I’m okay. I’m so close to feeling like life without you is possible.
Feelings
But he second you come back, so do the feelings. Not just the feelings of love, but, the feelings of hate, anger, resentment, and sadness. The feelings and emotions are all over the place so badly that I can’t even wrap my head around how I feel.
You have this hold on me. No matter how badly I try to fight it, my heart can’t fully let you go. Maybe it’s that your damaged, maybe it’s that I know you feel the same when we’re together, maybe it’s because I know you better than yourself.
It’s my soft spot
Whatever it is, it’s my weakness. It’s my soft spot.
It’s the call at midnight that leaves me not being able to sleep all night. It’s the dream that leaves me paralyzed for hours the mornings after. It’s the roller coaster of emotions you send me on that leave me wanting and craving more.
It’s the hardest thing to live with. It’s the hardest thing to live without.
I hate you. I love you.