As a parent, there are some things you just never want to consider.
Lots of things that would have probably never been a factor if you were still a nonparent.
If you’ve lived the life of an average person, you’re not willing to let your child go through anything close to what you’ve been through.
Everything you’ve gotten through that has been hard, is suddenly considered a hundred times worse if you think about it happening to your child. Continues on the next pages…
You would never wish any of those things on them.
So what happens when parenthood turns into single motherhood before you even have your baby?
What happens when you created another human being with a man, but things don’t work between you?
You can’t imagine the things that run through your head. Unless you’ve experienced it.
How are you going to raise a child on your own? How are you supposed to do that in a home that’s broken before he even comes into it?
How are you going to give him the love of two parents in one when you feel so empty inside? Not being loved by his father has left you so drained.
You don’t think there’s any love left inside you at all after that.
How are you going to handle it financially and provide him with everything he needs on your own?
Doesn’t he deserve better than you as a parent?
How will you answer him when one day he comes up and asks you “Why isn’t daddy with us?”
You sure as hell can’t tell him that he was more than enough for daddy when even you weren’t.
So how do you go from learning your family is growing, from the excitement and the plans to tackling single motherhood?
I believe the specifics are different for everyone.
But I also think it starts with the same foundation: that you are willing and ready to do whatever it takes for your child. That’s your push-off point.
You bury the heartbreak of your relationship failing and finding yourself single. You bury it so you can move on with starting fresh, getting your shit together for your new, smaller family.
You throw yourself into getting ready for baby or maybe spending more time with them if they are already there.
You throw yourself into work so you can start making money to provide for your family.
In a way, your child has saved you. You were so wrapped up in the relationship, you never thought you’d survive on your own after it ended.
But guess what, this time, you’re not on your own. You can survive it.