So there’s a guy in your sights and you want him to be yours. Assuming he’s no wild beast, here are some luring tips to make him feel comfortable so you can shoot an arrow straight through his heart without him even realizing it.
Guys like interesting girls, so be interested in the world around you. Ask questions, and share engaging information. If you want him to enjoy spending time with you, make sure you have a variety of things to talk about. The more activities you do and the more you read the better. Continues on the next pages…
Make him laugh and be charismatic. Charisma is the transference of enthusiasm. Be confident, and don’t be uptight. If you are enthusiastic when you speak, he will be drawn to you. This doesn’t mean you should be manic. If he pokes with jokes, brush them off with a smile or laugh– or respond back in kind (don’t be afraid of having an edge, but keep the mood light).
Don’t be a negative person. Negativity is very unattractive. He could easily fear emotionally entangling with someone who might bring him down. If you are going through tough times in life, be careful how you share that information. Present yourself as a genuinely strong individual who knows how to look on the bright side.
Be Somewhat Unavailable
Consider telling him you are casually seeing other people. If he has a negative reaction he might not be worth it, but it’s because he is insecure, challenging you, and puffing his own feathers. That’s good. Challenge him back. Tell him you are not sure if monogamy works (his response will tell you a lot about where his mind is at). If you tell him you see some guys occasionally (or have in the past) he will believe you are not looking for exclusivity and be more open (and less guarded) himself. This can also work in your favor, because guys can become subtly competitive if they think they have to fight a little for your attention.
Push and Pull
Be patient. Courtship can be like a game of cat and mouse. Sometimes people feign interest to catch attention, which can be frustrating and paradoxical. Try not to let this get out of control and don’t be afraid to break the cycle. Often times, you get what you give. Be clear; how you communicate sets the tone. Don’t be sycophantic, but avoid the habit of taking too long to respond to texts. Instead keep him on his toes. Announce when you will be unavailable. Being inexplicably radio silent is bad and can establish a negative trend that will be hard for you to recover from.
If you have both started to spend time together, don’t be afraid to take the lead. Forget gender roles; guys like confidence and strong women. They don’t always want to be the ones making suggestions.
People have a range of comfort levels, but this also relates to not being uptight. It is better to seem adventurous and up for anything (even if it’s not true) than not. Saying things like “I’ve always wanted to go sky diving, but it’d have to be with the right people because otherwise I’d be too scared,” can be very motivating to guys. It makes THEM want to be the ones capable of unleashing your untapped inner adventurer. If you sound open to try new things, and a little fearless, guys will not be able to resist.
Don’t Be A Hassle
Be easy going. Some girls think there is a virtue in being difficult; there is not. I don’t mean be a push over, but being too difficult can make him wary of you as a long term companion. If you are entertaining and share a good rapport that’s a good sign. If you see an opportunity for intimacy be nonchalant. Be clear you just like to have a good time and be chill. Tell him it’s not a big deal and you don’t know why it should be.
Think of the mind like a peacock’s tail. How you use it should be alluring and attractive. If you are engaging, interesting, and seem drama free– it will be hard for any man to not become addicted to your company. Sometimes– absence can make the heart grow stronger. Don’t let him get sick of you, and stay attractive.