Don’t Panic, Your Separation Will Actually Teach Your Kids A Lot

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Life is beyond unpredictable, so just roll with it.

Okay, so you aren’t divorced, but you’re not exactly together either. Sometimes, you’re in that weird in-between stage called “separation.”

Whether you’re all under the same roof or split between two different roofs, it’s not always easy for the kids to witness it all. But don’t panic that your separation is harmful to your kids, because it does teach them some valuable lessons about love and life.

Your kids always expected you and your partner’s love to be everlasting. And they still sort of do. But ultimately, things don’t always pan out the way we think they should. Them learning this allows them to deal with relationships in a healthier way. Continues on the next pages…

Mistakes are avoidable, so anticipate life’s twists and turns.

They see the mistakes and sacrifices you made, and the ones they didn’t. And they saw certain choices that you thought were right at the time ended up costing them some happiness.

With hindsight on their side, they’ll know which of those choices to make and not to make.

It’s okay to be slightly cynical or skeptical, as long as they’re more realistic than pessimistic.

They’ll learn to be careful with their hearts and patient with love. They’ll built walls and a safety net, but they’ll also know to only let themselves fall when they’re ready.

Confusion is just one of many phases that they’ll revisit all throughout life.

When people ask them what the sitch is with their parents, they won’t really have a way of explaining it. It’s not that things are bad, and it’s not that they’re all great, either. They’re just sort of in between.

With parents who are separated, they’ll become familiar with the grey area of love and life, and learn that not everything is cut and dry.

Their hearts know no bounds, but their quick minds will keep them in check.

Seeing the other side of marriage, they’ll want to keep it at a distance. But they’ll just value it that much more when the right person comes along.

One person isn’t expected to be the source of their happiness, they’ll know sometimes they have to make it for themselves.

One of the reasons marriage gets into such a weird state is because people have been conditioned to expect everything from them. But with separated parents, they know that this doesn’t work.

They’ll know that human beings are fallible creatures and that false expectations can make a marriage crumble. They’ll be honest about what they want from a relationship, but also forgiving.

When things go wrong, they don’t panic, they’re prepared.

They’re sort of built with that not all relationships are perfect, since they’ve seen it firsthand with you and your S.O.

Instead of being shocked and upset when something falls apart, they’ll be able to rise above, and accept that it happened.

They’ll learn that more than love is necessary to maintain a relationship.

It’s not that they think you and your spouse hate each other, they’ll be mature enough to see that the relationship wasn’t working, and that had little to do with how much love there was.

They’ll know it takes more than mutual love for a relationship to work over a long period of time and they’ll brace themselves for the hurdles along the way.

So if the relationship or marriage isn’t working out, know that everything else will. Your kids will get a lot of positive from a negative situation, and if it makes you happier, they’ll want it for you anyway.

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